“Congratulations.” Of all the responses I anticipated before publishing An Almost Normal Life Thanks to an Extremely Unhealthful “Diet,” being applauded never occurred to me. When that congratulatory email arrived in my inbox, I was floored. Having had a prior email correspondence with the sender, I knew they were coming from a place of desperation. To them, any sort of improvement, even at the cost of malnutrition, was a tremendous gain. To me, it was reminiscent of people who made jealous remarks about my weight loss when I was gaunt from such severe nausea that I could barely eat. In both cases, the outcome—whether fewer migraines or (unwanted, unnecessary) weight loss—the price is too high.
Serendipitously, I saw my therapist/naturopath the afternoon I received that congratulatory message. She listened as I expressed my dismay that my malnutrition could be a reason to celebrate. She let me rant about how frustrating it is to track down food triggers when Every. Single. Thing. I eat seems to be a trigger. She handed me tissues when I cried about how much I miss food, baking and cooking, and sharing meals with my loved ones. She recommended a bunch of lab tests to check the nutrient levels in my blood. She got the ball rolling on metabolic testing. She explained the hormonal impact of starving my body.
Starving. That was the first time anyone had spoken that word aloud. I’m getting enough calories, so I’m not technically starving, but I’m getting about as much nutrition as I would drinking soda all day. I am starving myself nutritionally so I can pretend to live an almost normal life. The body needs high-quality fuel to run efficiently, and I’ve been running on fumes for months. It’s no wonder I’m in a constant brain fog and my limbs are so heavy it feels like my bones have been replaced with sandbags.
“Congratulations” was intended as a show of support and, in a roundabout way, that’s exactly what it was. It was a wake-up call—no, more like a slap in the face. Starving myself of nutrition relieves the migraine symptoms temporarily, it does not eliminate them or their cause, and it has potential for long-term harm. These months of operating at 50% much of the time have been amazing, but I will no longer trade my overall health for temporary relief of migraine symptoms.
Please cross your fingers, send good vibes, pray, or whatever it is you do that I’ve gathered enough information from this absurd “diet” that my dietician, naturopath, and doctors can investigate some previously unexamined issues, like food chemical intolerances, enzyme deficiencies, and mast cell and metabolic disorders. My greatest hope is that I will not only find some answers for myself, but that my discoveries will help others with headache disorders find the missing pieces of their treatment puzzles.