Chronic Migraine, Coping

Migraine Losses and Seattle as “Home”

Being in Seattle this summer has brought emotional turmoil. I love it here and am grateful to get to spend time away from the Phoenix storms. But, I love it here and am angry that migraine is the reason I don’t live here. The grief from not being able to live in the city that feels like my home is immense.

In My Favorite City, Another Migraine Loss, published today on, I wrote about my immense grief and the anger it triggered after I visited my old neighborhood:

“The tears flowed, not out of nostalgia for the times I had here, but grief for how much I love this place I do not live and that migraine is the reason I do not live here. … I’m also angry that migraine has made this choice, and so many others, for me. I didn’t invite migraine into my life, and yet it weighs in on every single decision I make.”

I wrote that post a few weeks ago and my emotions have settled down a bit. The grief is no longer acute and I don’t feel quite as connected to the city as I once did. Perhaps that’s because Seattle has changed a lot in the last four years; perhaps because Hart just visited for a week and I realized that, more than any particular location, he is my home. Or maybe it’s just the ebb and flow of grief.

1 thought on “Migraine Losses and Seattle as “Home””

  1. Question: you say Seattle has changed in the past 4 years, how so? I am just curious, as I have been managing to work from home and can move wherever I want at this time in my life. I am tired of being hot, and the Pacific NW looks gorgeous, as well as the appeals of the ‘big city’. Though I am sitting with a throbbing head right now, and heat and humidity are my triggers.

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