A lovely young woman with chronic migraine whom I met in an online forum has just taken her own life. She had a smile that could light up the world. And she was in tremendous pain for which she saw no end.
Though I didn’t know her well, this young woman’s death has hit me hard. I am sad for her family and friends, and my heart breaks to know how many other chronic migraineurs have felt similarly desperate.
I think of all the people whose episodic migraine attacks have slowly morphed into chronic migraine. So many of us try countless treatments before finding any relief. Our migraines worsen year after year while we try medications with sometimes unbearable side effects. When you’re mired in that much pain, both physical and emotional, you cannot conceive of a life without migraines that continue to escalate in frequency, severity, and duration, destroying what little quality of life you have left. (I know, I have been there.)
Combine having to face each day when your life is in ruins because of migraine with a society that does not understand how ravaging migraine can be. Migraineurs are regularly told that “it’s all in your head” or “it’s only a headache.” We are called weak or fakers. People tell us all we have to do is think positively and our migraine attacks will go away. There is so little sympathy or empathy for those struggling with migraine.
June is Migraine and Headache Awareness Month. I’ve been caught up in my own life and haven’t been on top of spreading facts or writing blog posts. This young woman’s tragic death has reminded me just how vital it is that we raise awareness about this devastating illness.
Too many people suffer horribly from migraine. Too few people know the tremendous damage it can cause. How many more bright, shining stars must the world lose before people begin to understand the cost of chronic migraine?
46 thoughts on “Suicide and Chronic Migraine”
All migraine treatment is a total scam. I have literally tried EVERY medication on the market (over 78 of them). I have tried every nut job cure there is advertised, and many that are not. The new CGRP drugs are an expensive joke. I will be dead by the end of the year. I am in the process of disposing of my estate. Stop lying to people. Nothing helps and nothing will. Just go ahead and end it. It is Not worth it to try.
Hi Katelyn, I’m sorry you’re struggling so much right now. Please hang in there and talk to a professional about your suicidal thoughts. I have felt suicidal and hopeless because of migraine, but finally found an effective one. I know you’ve tried many things, but there are more than a hundred medications available and other treatments, like devices and nerve blocks. If you don’t have a therapist you can work with, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
I absolutely WILL commit suicide. Nothing helps my migraines at all. If you have migraines, the industry is sucking you dry. They are NOT trying to help you. NOTHING WORKS. Just stop trying. I have. I WILL die to end it.
Hi Katelyn, please, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for help: 1-800-273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. I’m so sorry you’re in such a bad place right now. I know how helpless and hopeless chronic migraine can make you feel. I, too, have felt at times like suicide was the only option. But each time, the despair has passed with time and help from people like the suicide prevention line. I did finally find an effective treatment and am so glad I’m still here. I’m sending you love and strength.
I went to mass today and in the Prayers for all they prayed for all those that have followed through with suicide and for those who experience the thoughts. I found myself tearing up thinking about my history with this awful thought and how many times I have thought how great it would be to fall asleep and never wake up again. The Pain and humiliation would be over. I have suffered for 20+ years with Migraines and am very thankful for my husbands (of 26 years) support and understanding. I would never want to devastate my family but I still find my mind wandering in the direction of just ending my time here on earth. I just seems so unfair to me to live this way and my husband to have to share in this journey of my pain. In and out of the Emergency room or Urgent care and then sleeping for a couple of days. I have been very fortunate to have a great company that I work for and very understanding of my complications. I work from home in my dark bedroom and as long as I meet my deadlines they don’t care when I work. I could be working until midnight because I was to sick to work earlier in the day. I know I am very fortunate to have this and I don’t have to go on disability, but recently I am finding that my memory is declining quickly. I am trying to create albums of my life so that when my mind is gone I will have it to fall back on and read in my own handwriting.
It seems that suicide is a big part of Chronic Migraine and I would love to help others to get through those really tuff days.
I just want to put out there the new drug Aimovig has helped me tremendously. I have gone from 26-30 days of migraines to 7 seven last month. This month I have a few more but they are quick to get rid of. I strongly suggest getting this drug and try it, who knows it it could be your cure. It is worth every Penny and if you cannot pay the high co-pays Aimovig is helping to make it affordable for you.
God Bless All of You, and if anyone wants to talk about this I am always available. Swimfishy@sbcglobal.net6 or 858 735-9436.
Love to all my suffering brothers and Sisters,
For me, it’s not the pain that causes the suicidal ideation. Since menopause, I get mostly silent migraines. No serious pain, just pressure, but all the aura, mind scrambles, crazy digestive issues and sensitivities. If it lasts longer than 3 days then the suicidal ideas start floating thru my mind.
None of the prescriptive meds touch the non-pain issues. If there’s pain I usually do a BC powder in Dr. Pepper. The caffeine and aspirin usually blocks any pain quickly. It’s cheap with limited side effects. But like the prescriptive meds it does nothing for all the other symptoms. For that I get drunk just to break the cycle and get deep sleep. It’s crazy.
Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing your experience. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’ve come to a place in my treatment where pain is no longer my most disabling symptom (fatigue and brain fog are), so I can identify somewhat. By your mention of BC powder, I’m guessing you’re not in the US, so the CGRP inhibitors aren’t yet available to you. But I wanted to let you know that they’ve been studied for their impact on non-pain symptoms and the findings are favorable. When they become available, you may want to look into them–you might get some relief from your other symptoms.
I’m a 45yr old man, had and been in constant pain from my Migraines, I always have headaches, which develop to a full blown attack, vomit, my head throwing with makes me so sick, I ve had them all my life but was able to function and hold down a job, I physically it’s physically impossible now, I have had all medications and I tryiing to hang in there as I always think about what this poor young woman did, my mother also suffered to 73yrs of age she was sick one day and got abused by a bank manager and the Migraine turned into a full blown stroke with killed her and she was in agony when she died, it killed my mum I, mean if you really get Migraines and really understand the pain. Intensity was horrible, and I get treatted like a drug adict, and I probability is I am but I’m in severe crippling pain can’t get out of bed I mean even to lay down is painful because I can’t im.like a dog that’s been hit by a bus who is in so much pain you can’t get relief, and I’ll do anything to be Migraine free, I admit I’ve had all types of doctors good bad and really bad ones nasty sarcastic, I’m lucky I got a really good doctor helping me, but I still get so sick, so my doctor is really good never left me in pain were others couldn’t care I think they enjoy it and the drug stores they to are disrespectful and rude things they say and do and way they treat you, I’m on my own now no family, as I was a only child I deal with this every day it’s a battle I thought about taking my life, I do pray to God to take me as I don’t want or find it difficult to continue, I’m a Catholic I pray to God all the time to finish me off I don’t want to offend God as it is a sin but I don’t really know I have my faith I think God understands, I was reading a post on here about a lady talking about, being forced on to heroine Street drugs as a result from the pain there in I can understand this I mean, this is true, because the system governments drip feed you a little and send you on your way then you, use the pain medications as the fear and anxieties in having a full blown attack scares the he’ll out of me, I haven’t done Street drugs but it’s like if the medications they put you on for relief then take you off them it’s like there toying really sadistic I think, I understand I haven’t got any friends I do t want them any way I mean, the people who play there games the doctors, drug stores,goverment suposably friends I wish they got what I get for a day, then they wouldn’t know what hit them but they soon forget so I think us Migraine suffers should get a break, because it’s the breaks the odd part of a day or the 1 or 2 days that gives us strength to keep going I k ow when been constantly in chronic pain with full blown attack over 5 days out of seven really take it out of us but these other people should get what we get, but I understand that would not happen, I got mine through my mother and my mother got her Migraine from my grand father with I never met but my mother would tell me the police at the time in the 1940s would are set him and say he was drunk,I think possibly that were all here for some purposes and we all have a part to take but my part isn’t much as I’m in total pain, but possibility these other people I’m talking about family and friends maybe when we die we will be asked by God how we did and theses other people who treat people like my self and other people’s that suffer that will be held to account, I me an here people have there great well paying carriers and jobs successfull people and there life’s are perfect but they can’t take it with them, these people in power or have means to really help others in life, but treat us like mud dirt callings us drug abusers, or its in your head you imagine this, I mean what do they really do in secret and how do they really treat people I know all about it as I said I’m 45yrs and it’s getting worse, I have no job no family, no friends, I don’t want these types around me any way,there was a saint called sai t Gemma gallganni she is the patron sai.t of Migraines she lived along time ago but she suffered terrible Migraine attacks, I understand not everyone is a Catholic but please look her in Saint Gemma gallganni, maybe there is something there that will help some one because I read a post about a lady saying she hopes for all the other people that treat us so bad to go to hell, I must be honest I feel this way about these nasty people but really I don’t want any of us to go there we want heaven but I think that is out human side to all this, I’m take one day at a time and try to be pain free but the rest is I’m sick more then I’m OK, when people see you they don’t always either see the days that were really sick as I my self am bed ridden, I have no hope and no life, all that matters is God to me, please all those other suffering please look up saint Gemma gallganni patrons saint of Migraine and read different post on her it will help us all please, anyway I’ve sent a big message I never do this but I can understand what most of you suffering are going through to talked right on, I hope I have the strength to keep going as I think about this subject alot
And yes, suicide is a constant thought. I have my 380. When you feel hopeless, you just want out.. But let me tell you all something – Jesus is my hope. There is no hope in this life without him. Does it make my chronic illnesses easier? No, but knowing I have a father in heaven that NEVER leaves me, always loves me and helps me through anything!
I have a severe chronic cricket tinnitus disability in addition to chronic migraines. The migraines probabaly twenty years, ten for the tinnitus. I can’t even begin to explain what’s it’s like to have both. When the tinnitus hit, I basically went to be and gave up. Saw many specialists, no cure. You all know the migraine story. I’ve pretty muc become a recluse. Have any of you heard about the new Migraine medication??? It’s a very exciting break through and everyone has high expectations for it. It’s called Aimovig.
Having read all your brave brave stories I am in tears. I didn’t know anyone felt as I do. Thank you for making me feel less alone. It means more than I can say.
I have tried everything from Imiitrex to botox. Nothing has worked for me. I am 56 years old and out of options. Going to the ED is the most humiliating experience. They treat you like a drug seeker at best. I am a nurse and am so disappointed in the medical field. They treat migraine patients as if they have a bad head ache and are taking up a bed that should be for someone who is actually sick. I get so sick with migraines that my potassium gets low due to excess vomiting and diarrhea. I try to control my trigors but it is a loosing battle.. I wish I could say it will get better with time but it is what it is. A chronic illnesses. You just need to learn to live with it. Enjoy the good days because it’s all you have. I have lost at least 7 years of my life to migraines but I refuse to give in more. Live life like there is no tomorrow.
I´ve had suicidal thoughts in 2017 due to the enormous and unbereable pain i was in due to cronic migraine and shared those thoughts with my partner and my therapist. I opened up because i was fantasizing about buying a gun and shotting myself in the head for several days, which had never happened. I´d think about dying but never about killing myself. I am a Psychologist and also a Psychology teacher and i´m not immune to despair AT ALL.
Now i´ve found a new (very expensive) neurologist who actually takes me seriously and i must say this is such a relieve!
Please do seek help if you´re suicidal. I did and it saved me.
*Sorry for any mistakes. English is not my mother tongue.
Thanks for sharing your story, Marina. I agree that it’s so important to seek help. I’m glad you did and am happy to hear you’re working with a neurologist you like now.
Because of 31 years of migraines that started intense and stayed that way almost immediately, I have now at 54 yrs old become completely isolated. I have never married no kids, no close friends to talk to, family also distant. I have no support. Oh, I can text my 2 friends but not really talking. I have been on FMLA leave from work for the last 4 weeks as a medical professional and I am no better. My GI tract is now messed up 24/7. I am overwhelmed with all of this AND the resulting major anxiety and depression for which the meds they try and throw at you have not worked. Also, I HAVE to take a triptan daily or I will be out a job and on the street. I HAVE to function. What good is my life ? Especially if I am no longer able to work and support myself and I HAVE NOOONE. I need help with food as I am too sick to cook or shop but there is only ME. I have tried EVERYTHING short of injections which I do not trust. Do you know there is a preservative in those injections that can cause Arachnoiditis. Look it up. It should be against the law to allow these OFF LABEL injections with a side effect like that. See administering these injections bring in WAY more money for whatever institution the provider works for. THIS IS DISGUSTING. As is this fabricated “opioid epidemic”. MORE people die from PREDNISONE every day than opioids so WHY aren’t they in the press ?? Taking opioids away cold turkey or way too fast, manufacturing limits imposed, state imposed individual prescribing limits etc. NOT that opioids are always the answer but when all has been exhausted. When the pt’s life has devolved into a sad joke which isn’t funny at all. NO support group is going to make this shit go away. They need to splash across all the news media all the suicides related to Chronic pain. Or how may chronic pain patients have been driven to heroin when normally they would not go near it. I bet those numbers are staggering. Forget this shit. I have had enough.
I have suffered with migraine 30 years. Combined with bi polar depression and the knowing that my grandmother took her life because of this. It’s eerie how genetics is passed down. I suffer so much, worse now at 47. I comptemplate dying all the time. The pain of that constant burn on my temple is maddening. Doctors and specialist and pills and this and that, I have tried it all. I just want it to end. I hate when people say, oh it gets better. No, no, it never does. Can anyone ever tell you the truth. I believe in telling people, life sucks, and most times, it doesn’t always get better. If it did, I would be proof. I used to be positive and believe, but the pain always followed and so did the bad men. I hate my life of pain.
I once remarked to my headache specialist “‘I wonder what the suicide statistics are for those of us who suffer from migraines.
I attempted suicide after the neurologist I was seeing for 6 years quit on me. I was 20 years old.
I thought things were bad then, they are ten times worse now.
I’m older (38), have more health problems and have tried and failed all medicines, therapies, unconventional meds, vitamins, experiments, heat, cold – you name it, I’ve tried it. Because of other diseases that I have, there are things I can’t do or take.
I’ve heard people say ‘migraines don’t control me, I control them’. That doesn’t pertain to me.
My migraines control me. They’ve ruined my life. They say who, what, when, where and why.
Hopes and dreams shattered one by one.
No family. No friends. No job. No husband or kids. No house with a white picket fence.
Some days I think I’m gonna be alright. Other days I don’t think I’m gonna make it.
We aren’t alone though. No one understands a migraine like another migraineur. We need to support each other. Our friends, family and even our doctors will make nasty remarks, leave us and even quit. But we are warriors!! We are assaulted and brutalized by these things. And with each one, each day that goes by – we are stronger.
I don’t know what the future holds, I’ve stopped looking ahead. I can only concentrate getting through each day,each hour, each second and hope and pray that a cure is found for all of us. My heart goes out to this poor girl and to all those who’ve lost their battle with this horrid disease.
God Bless and Help Us All.
i dont know what to do, im starting to have suicidal thoughts after waking up from this chronic migraine. no one believes me, not even my own mother. so im alone right now writing this. .this pain is unbearable, nothing works. what should i do 🙁
Yasmin, I’m so sorry to hear this. Are you able to see a headache specialist? Seeing someone with specialized knowledge in migraine can make all this difference in finding effective treatment. And it’s important to know that anyone can call themselves a specialist even without specific training. Here’s a list of headache specialists who have added certification in headache medicine: http://migraineresearchfoundation.org/resources/find-a-doctor/. I also recommend finding a support group (in person or online) and/or speaking with a therapist. Having chronic migraine is extraordinarily difficult and it’s normal to feel grief and loss. Talking with people who understand and can validate your experience is invaluable. Best wishes in your search for relief. Let me know if I can help with anything else.
My heart goes out to you all especially to the parents of the young lady who could bare the pain no longer. I think we all ask the question why are some people plagued with pain such as migrane and other symptoms such as my own, i was diagnosed with sychosamatic pains in my body a year ago, this was due to three bearevements plus other issues. It is a daily battle so i ido understand. My mother used to suffer with migranes often, you feel so helpless for the suferer.
Lori, I’m so glad you have a wonderful husband and children to help support you, it’s so necessary when living with chronic pain. I would love to know more of your story.
Jon, I second what Kerrie said, please contact someone who can provide you with tools to help your possible depression. No one here wants to see another person be lost in their feelings and get to the point of taking their life. Once you get that under control I think your outlook on chronic pain can change and you can access the right tools to help you get there. Again, I’m so sorry you are feeling the way you do and you will be in my prayers.
I want people to know that I have not tried to commit suicide since having my son, I was hospitalized very briefly for having those feelings, but no real plan, and that was my first Father’s Day without my dad, June 2013. It is very possible to get mental illness under control, I see a psychiatrist and therapist frequently, and I will for as long as I live. Mental illness is very real but can be controlled if you put in the effort, because it isn’t easy but for me it has changed my life drastically in a positive direction.
Love and prayers are sent to all of us who have a chronic illness!!! xoxo
The people in my life care about my pain, The problem is they can’t help. I know others have the same symptoms and feelings of despair. I know my family needs me. I also know I can live with the pain. Knowing others have the same problem does not help. I JUST DON’T WANT TO BE SICK ANYMORE. It isn’t about who knows or cares. It isn’t about the people that depend on me. It is the realization that when I have a good day that this is how others feel all the time. I JUST DON’T WANT TO BE SICK ANYMORE. There is only one solution.
Please, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for support: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. I’m sorry you’re in such a place of despair right now. I, too, have been at the point where death seemed a preferable alternative to being sick all the time. I have since discovered that my despair was fed by a two-pronged problem–chronic migraine and depression. Once I managed the depression, living with chronic migraine no longer seemed so bleak. I don’t know if you’re depressed, but having a chronic illness has a complicated, layered impact on a person’s life. Sorting through the layers could reveal other, addressable factors that are fueling your hopelessness. My husband once told me that my life was unbelievably and unfairly difficult, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a life worth living. I wasn’t sure I believed him at the time; now I’m so grateful I listened when he said that.
The people in my life care about my pain, The problem is they can’t help. I know others have the same symptoms and feelings of despair. I know my family needs me. I also know I can live with the pain. Knowing others have the same problem does not help. I JUST DON’T WANT TO ANYMORE. It isn’t about who knows or cares. It isn’t about the people that depend on me. It is the realization that when I have a good day that this is how others feel all the time. I JUST DON’T WANT TO BE SICK ANYMORE. There is only one solution.
Aprile, we share so much in common, as far as losing family members’ support because of my chronic pain. I love them, but I have made the tough decision to not have them in my life. I have a supportive husband, and 3 great kids; ages 14, 11, and 9. God has blessed me with a loving family; my husband’s, and friends who are also my family. Still, I grieve what I wish was. But I am doing well emotionally and spiritually, walking daily with God. some days are rough, as they are for everyone. My kids and husband need me, and I intend to be here for them.
Susan, I am very happy to hear that. I have been thinking of you. Much love to you.
Thank you all for your support. I need a therapist. I will find someone.
This is a true reminder that chronic pain does kill. I suffer from Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. I always had problems when I was young, it wasn’t as painful when I was young, instead I would have frequent blackouts. As I got older the pain increased but no doctor could figure out what was going on. In 2004 the pain started to become so intense my life began to change for the worse. I saw dozens of doctors, tried every migraine medication you could imagine. I tried everything from keeping a log of my diet and of my pain to acupuncture, herbal meds, physical therapy, I even went as far as trying ECT in hopes of even a small amount of relief. I finally got the IIH diagnosis in 2007 after seeing a neuro ophthalmologist who saw swelling of my optic nerve and sent me to have a spinal tap. My opening pressure was a 39 and that helped confirm the diagnosis. I have suffered with depression and anxiety my whole, I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I tried to commit suicide, the chronic pain only increased those feelings. I got married to the most wonderful man in the entire world in 2002 and we had our son about five months after we married (good old fashion shotgun wedding, lol). I realized then I had to work harder to be a good wife and mother despite the increasing pain. They deserve so much more than I could give. I begged my husband to find a woman who could give him and our son the support and love that I felt they deserved. Not once has he ever thought about leaving, like I said he is amazing. I continue to fight every single day in hopes that I can finally become the mother and wife they deserve (these are my feelings, never once has either of them said anything negative or hesitated giving me the support I need to keep up the fight).
Situations like this teach you who your real friends are, trust me I have lost more friends then I ever could have imagined. I also know now what true unconditional love is and I thank God for teaching me what is important in life. Love, friendship and health are far more important than any materialistic gift I’ve ever been given. My own mother and brother couldn’t give me the love I needed and they are no longer a part of my life. Chronic pain/illnesses show you that you need positivity in your life and you have to surround yourself with love and support instead of people who doubt you or bring around negativity. It’s difficult when most of that negativity comes from your own family. My father died in July of 2012 and I had brain surgery less than two weeks after his death. He was my biggest cheerleader and I miss him more than anyone could know. After his death my mother and brother began to treat me worse then what they were already doing. I can say that since I have gotten rid of all the negative people in my life my attitude and friendships have brought me more joy than I ever thought was possible. I’ve had 8 surgeries since October of 2010 and I still live with serious pain but I am the happiest I’ve ever been. My friends have become my family and my amazing husband and son are the best support system anyone could ever ask for. I thank God every night for all of the happiness he has surrounded me with and as long as my son never has to experience an illness like IIH I’m more than happy to carry that cross for the rest of my life. I have lost quite a few friends to complications and suicide because of IIH and I’m so happy I failed at my attempts. I couldn’t imagine not sharing my life with my hubby or watching my son become such an amazingly smart and talented young man. You have to focus on the positives in life. And even though we have lost people to suicide, they will always be in our hearts. I refuse to judge those people who have taken their lives, they just couldn’t see the bright light in the future. My God is a forgiving God and those we’ve lost are our angels that work so hard to get us through. May God be with all people affected by chronic illnesses. All of you are in my daily prayers and as you will be until I take my last breath! God Bless
Kerrie, thank you so much for that information. I have also been in that position, because the pain can make you think that ending your life is so much better than hurting all the time. It truly helps to realize we are not alone, and that others hurt too. I am going to put that number in my contacts. I too have found it helpful to talk to a therapist that specializes in chronic pain. I would, however, like to know some of the things yours has taught you to help cope with migraine? If it’s to personal, and you’d rather not share, I completely understand !!
Susan, I hope today is a good day for you. Please let us know how you are doing.
Susan Follett, I am so sorry for all that you have to endure. I know the pain of not having support or caring from family members. In the case of this girl in the article, I know her mother, and I know how very hard her Mother advocated for her daughter, as she herself suffered from migraines. She continues to spread awareness of migraine, and advicate for all migraine sufferers. I just want you to know that you are not alone. Ending your life would not make this world a better place. Please email me if you would like to keep in touch with me, and we can support one another. I would really like that.
I have suffered for 43 years and the older I get, the harder it is to fight these every day. I have suicide in my mind all the time. My immediate family doesn’t care except for my younger son. I have two wonderful friends who are very suppose
I have been to so many doctors who treat you like a drug addict and forget the ER. I have run out of doctors and medications. I have tried everything. Nothing works. I can’t do well and my depression is off the charts. So what do I do. Ending my worthless life is the only option. Not there yet but pretty close. So I know how this girl felt. You are out of your pain my dear girl. Shame on the doctors who didn’t help you and all of those who didn’t take you seriously. I don’t feel sorry for those she left behind. We’re they really there in her years of suffering? Maybe a few, but that’s not enough. May the people in my life who ignore me and never check on me when I am in my room for days on end, they will be happy when I am gone. May they rot in hell!
Susan, I’m sorry you’re in such a bad place right now. I, too, have had suicidal thoughts because of migraine. Please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. They can help you get through immediate crisis and can also help you find other resources for help.
It was very helpful for me to talk to a therapist. Not only did she help with the suicidal thoughts, she recommended some ways of coping with migraine that I hadn’t considered (or even heard of) before. If budget is an issue, some therapists use a sliding scale so the client pays what they can afford.
Ultimately, I discovered that depression (which is common in people with chronic migraine) was robbing me of my ability to cope with migraine and was causing the suicidal thoughts. Dealing with chronic migraine is extraordinarily difficult on its own, depression can make it feel impossible.
I too thought about ending my life as well at least I won’t be in pain anymore, there are days my head hurts so bad I bang my head on my headboard and cry. All I can do now is pray and I wonder is he really listening? And yes there are people that I know that have no clue what I go through and then they criticize me and say my headaches are not real or why don’t you take something for it and I’m tired of hearing the same old Bullshit, sorry for my cussing but I’m just frustrated and don’t know how much more I can take. Ranting aside God help us all!!!!
I totally understand.I was forced to go on fidelis insurance.After having migraines daily all my life my dr.finally found a drug that worked well for me.Fidelis refused to pay for it and now my migrains are so bad I’m barely able to function,I can’t see any other way but suicide.
Deborah, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please hang in there, there are many possible ways to get medications at lower prices. If your doctor hasn’t appealed the insurance company, please have them do so. You can contact the insurance company to ask what their prescription drug appeal process is—your doctor should be familiar with it, but it does vary a bit from company to company. Prescription assistance programs can be a great help, sometimes even providing the prescriptions for free. Here’s a great website to look into it: https://www.pparx.org/gethelp. You can also look into prescription drug discount cards, which negotiate special rates at pharmacies. Many cards are available and the rates vary, but you may be able to get it for a reasonable price. And see what the cost for the drug is from Canadian pharmacies (there are many; I usually check canadadrugs.com and http://www.bigmountaindrugs.com/). Ask your doctor if the medication can be split (you cut one tablet of a higher dose in half for two of the dose you’re currently taking). This can be a good way to save money in conjunction with discount drug cards or ordering from Canada. Also, see if your doctor can give you samples. They may not have any or may be limited in the number they can give you, but it’s worth asking. If none of these things work, ask your doctor which drugs are similar to the one you have been taking and see if your insurance will cover that drug. It may not feel like it right now, but you have many options to look into for getting the medication you need. Best wishes.
I knew this sweet girl that this article was written about. I am so sad for those she left behind, and I understand her decision. I have been fighting daily chronic migraines for close to 10 years now. I have lost many family and friends. I am getting close to losing my marriage too. It is getting harder and harder to talk myself out of ending my life. I feel so alone right now.
I have always wondered if others that have migraines like myself suffer from suicidal thoughts and I actually wanted to do a study on suicides in the U.S. And how many people had a history of migraines. I didn’t even know others thought about this, thank u I no longer feel alone
Dina, you’re definitely not alone in this. It’s hard to know how many suicides are connected to migraine, but I hear of some every year. I’m sure there are plenty that never get connected to migraine, even if that’s the driving factor.
I have suffered headaches for 4 plus years now. I have been suicidal. What stopped me was the power of music. But I agree wholeheartedly. This article has made me want to bring awareness of the terrible disease I carry along with many others who carry it. I scour the internet to try find “My People” 2014 I have had that chance. This article is very eye opening. I send my thoughts and prayers to the family. Thank you for writing this. It helped me out a lot. Best of wishes.
Thoughts and prayers? Praying? Are you REALLY praying to God or is it just a figure of speech?
Chris, I have always been the same way – so hopeful when trying a new treatment, then absolutely devastated when it did not help. I really hope the Botox will prove to be a good treatment for you.
Kerrie, thank you for writing this, maybe it will help more people have a better understanding of how our lives really are. .
This is so gut wrenching, and I feel terribly about it all though I don’t know who the person is. That doesn’t matter. We’re all sisters in our struggle. It’s hard to try to stay positive when everything fails. Even trying to keep a positive attitude can be difficult. For intance, every time I see my dentist I know I’m going to be barraged with “still having those migraines? Gee, that’s awful. Isn’t there anything they can do?”. And yesterday when I said I felt great in the moment and that’s all that counted, it was “that’s just a terrible way to live.”. No wonder we don’t know where to turn sometimes! I wish there were real options out there for migraneurs so this person would not have had to choose death.
I would be surprised if any of use suffering from Chronic Migraine did not have some time where thoughts about “ending it” started creeping into our consciousness.
I know I have experienced this several times over the years. As someone who has struggled with Chronic Migraine for many years I can share a bit of my story.
Working intensely with neurologists and other medical providers for well over a decade I have noticed that with each new medication / medication combination I would be infused with a new and bright sense of hope. On the other side of that, I have noticed that each “failure” has pulled the floor out from underneath me. I tend to fall into a pretty dark place as new medications fail to have any impact.
I have basically reached the end of the spinning wheel of medications (You landed on red, lets try…). I have gone through everything out there and some of them two and three times. Nothing has brought about any relief. My latest adventure is Botox. I have had two rounds of injections. It is too soon to tell on the second round, but after the first round I did see an improvement.
I have had people close to me comment, “I don’t know how you do it”. Well, I do not know either. The alternative to fighting and searching for new treatments is to either live with Chronic Migraine or exit. I do not accept either of these two options so I continue searching.
I must admit, however, that exit strategy thoughts do still pop up every now and again. These are just thoughts, born out of intense and long-standing frustration. I choose to let these come and go.
I don’t know what the answer is to such a question. When one is in intense pain more days than not (or every day) how does one deal with that?
This is such saddening news. There isn’t enough support for migraineurs. I am sure that this has been said before but chronic migraineurs should have at least the same support as alcoholics who have AA meetings and rehab centers to attend. I sometimes think about the future and how difficult it might be in old age to deal with migraines. I spend so much time preparing my own food since this seems to be the only way can avoid a good portion of them.
After 20 years of chronic migraines, there have been times when I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up. However, I am hopeful that one day , my pain will slowly but surely subside. We must raise the awareness that headaches are a serious and debilitating condition. Thanks for your bog. I feel I am not alone.
Thank you for writing about this. And let’s not forget
The horrible people in the medical community who
start helping only to send us to this dr to this dr and
on it goes which was a big part of our online friends
struggle—just getting a dr to take her seriously and
treat get accordingly!