Chronic Migraine, Coping

The “F*ck It” List

You’ve heard of a bucket list, but how about a “f*ck it” list? This brilliant idea comes (to me at least) via the story of a woman in her late 80s who is no longer working on a list of things to do before she dies, but is now focused on her “f*ck it” list — a compendium of things she’s ready to let go of.

Why wait until your 80s to start such a list? Life is short and it’s so easy to get bogged down in trivialities that don’t really matter. Letting go of unnecessary worries, heavy thoughts, and should-haves and could-haves would lighten the load for the rest of your journey.

As the good ideas always do, a “f*ck it” list strikes me as a particularly clever tool for someone with a chronic or life-altering illness. Our day-to-day lives are already laden with frustrations and limitations and many headache disorders are exacerbated by stress. Letting go of the unwanted, unneeded strain is good for both emotional and physical health.

Like with a bucket list, accomplishing the items on a “f*ck it” list might seem difficult or even impossible. But you can’t start letting go of something if you’re not aware that you’re holding onto it in the first place. Writing them down at least gets you started on releasing your grasp.

Already on my “f*ck it” list: shoulds, self-blame, self-hatred, self-doubt, judgements about myself and others. That’s certainly a tall order, but I work on each of these nearly every day. Maybe by the time I’m in my late 80s, they’ll no longer occupy space on the list.

(I apologize if you’re offended by the language. The title is just too good to resist.)