Yesterday I described the aunt I wanted to be before migraine interfered with my life plans. Although migraine has commanded all my attention for the past decade, there’s no guarantee I would have been that ideal aunt even without chronic illness. Maybe my career or the 1,300 miles between my nieces, nephew and me would have gotten in the way, or maybe our relationships would have developed differently than I’d hoped.
It is easy to point at particular circumstances and say that if these problems hadn’t occurred, we’d be living the life we’d projected. But, chronic illness or not, it never works out that way. Few humans have designed their lives and then lived exactly according to that plan. Things come up. Whether in drastic and life-altering events or simply by making choices to go a different direction than expected. That’s kinda what life is all about — making it up as you go along.
I’d like to believe that my life would be exactly as I imagine it if only migraine hadn’t gotten in the way, but that’s not how it works. If not for migraine, some other factor would be exerting influence. My life would be different for sure, but it still wouldn’t be all cake and balloons.
As odd as this may seem, I find that tremendously comforting.