Chronic Migraine, Coping, Friends & Family

Illness or Not, Plans Get Derailed

Yesterday I described the aunt I wanted to be before migraine interfered with my life plans. Although migraine has commanded all my attention for the past decade, there’s no guarantee I would have been that ideal aunt even without chronic illness. Maybe my career or the 1,300 miles between my nieces, nephew and me would have gotten in the way, or maybe our relationships would have developed differently than I’d hoped.

It is easy to point at particular circumstances and say that if these problems hadn’t occurred, we’d be living the life we’d projected. But, chronic illness or not, it never works out that way. Few humans have designed their lives and then lived exactly according to that plan. Things come up. Whether in drastic and life-altering events or simply by making choices to go a different direction than expected. That’s kinda what life is all about — making it up as you go along.

I’d like to believe that my life would be exactly as I imagine it if only migraine hadn’t gotten in the way, but that’s not how it works. If not for migraine, some other factor would be exerting influence. My life would be different for sure, but it still wouldn’t be all cake and balloons.

As odd as this may seem, I find that tremendously comforting.


3 thoughts on “Illness or Not, Plans Get Derailed”

  1. Thank you for your kindness and support (and the book suggestion). It always sounds corny to say that chronic migraine has taught me a lot, but it certainly has. The pain has been profound and so have the lessons.

  2. Kerrie:

    “Illness or Not, Plans Get Derailed. This article-
    was insightful. You are wise beyond your years Kerrie.

    A long time ago was talking with a friend of mine
    about what I had gone thru in life. His line got to me
    think-“Tim-you wouldn’t be the person you are-if
    hadn’t gone thru all you did.”

    I used to be a professonal poker player. And life is
    somewhat like playing poker. You play each hand
    dealt to you the best possible way. Sometimes dealt
    good cards-many times not. But treat each hand
    and do the best possible with.

    Just like life-where must deal every day with circumstances-
    sometimes in your control-sometimes not. But try
    to make the best possible decision with those choices.
    Each day is an opportunity to grow and learn.

    Recommend a book by the spiritual author-Matthew
    Kelly. It is called “Be the Best Version of Yourself.”

    Thanks for what you are trying to accomplish Kerrie.
    This article/by Kerrie was in some respects very profound.

    Timothy Bauer
    Reno, Nevada

  3. This is in the top three of my favorite The Daily Headache posts … ever.

    I thought this very thing about my own life last night, after reading your post from yesterday. It’s not chronic illness in my case, but I got to thinking about the life circumstances and event that have held me back, even as they propelled me forward into the life I have today.

    I’m not an “everything happens for a reason” person, but I do appreciate that all my trials have brought me to a different vantage point. Not a better one, necessarily (which is why I don’t say they happened for a reason). Just the awesome one I have.

    You inspire me, Kerrie! I am lucky to know you.

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