My mood lifted almost immediately after I posted on Monday. When I sat down to write, I had no idea what was going to come out. The ideas that flowed through my fingers surprised me. And released the reminders of why blogging has been a crucial “treatment” for my migraine and chronic daily headache.
While writing, I work through what’s bothering me and discover feelings I didn’t know I had. I speak candidly without worrying you will be distressed by what you read (as I fear my friends and family will be). In fact, there’s a good chance sharing my grief or guilt or pain will somehow help in your journey and provide comfort. I also don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. You come here knowing I have a chronic illness. You don’t remember who I was before I got sick, so you don’t miss who I used to be. Nor will I scare you off by talking about my struggles, as I feel I do many new people.
Whenever I talk about the blog, I focus on helping other people who are in a similar situation. I say the relief and support I get from it are lovely, but I’m really doing it for the readers. Now I see I am the true beneficiary. Even though I have been absent much of the last two years, this community has been crucial in my emotional healing. Thank you.
Yes, I am distressed, but that’s what mothers are for! I feel grief and guilt also – was there anything I might have done to cause your illness? Was there anything I might have done to have prevented it? I have mentally catalogued both sides of the family back two or three generations and cannot discover any possible genetic source of your migraines.
I am reading “The Migraine Brain” now and finding it quite informative.
You are loved and prayed for more than you can ever imagine!
Love, Mom
I am glad to see you posting again (I was very worried about your health!) I have been reading this blog for quite a while now, and do it for information but, also because it makes me feel less alone with this headache crap that I deal with and my husband doesn’t understand. We have never met face to face but, I feel understood and that I am not judged by my ailments here. Thanks for this blog it means a lot to me.
I was feeling very alone in my headache pain last week and very frusterated by the limitations it puts on me. Plus, my visit to my headache clinic on Thursday (which I hadn’t visited in nearly three years) didn’t meet my expectations. As sad as it makes me to hear that you have been dealing with soo much, your post was comfort to me that I am not entirely alone and that someone can relate to what I deal with day in and day out.
Hi Kerrie-
I signed up for your blog on my google reader months ago- maybe the begining of the year? I love what you just wrote above- I started my own headache journal/blog this year and find the same comfort in writing. Most of my famiy does not read this blog(I have one with my family updates the like to look at) and I feel I can actually be more honest. I also feel a little bit less alone in this world to read about others dealing with the same issues. Thank you for sharing. Keep it up- I will be watching to see what you are up to.
Warm Regards,
Megan
This is the stuff of healing, Kerrie.
You have said it all. (((Kerrie))) 🙂