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Romantic Relationships, Marriage & Chronic Illness
By Kerrie | June 15, 2007
Whether you’re married, living together or dating, chronic illness causes upheaval in any romantic relationship — no matter if it is solid or if it’s a little rocky. In marriages involving a chronic illness, the divorce rate is more that 75 percent (from A Chronic Dose).
I get asked for advice a lot and am always at a loss for what to say. I’ve finally stumbled upon some helpful resources. They all focus on marriage, but some themes are universal.
Keeping Your Marriage Strong
This overview is a good place to start exploring the topic. It addresses many different topics and gives some suggestions for improving your relationship.How to Survive a Health Crisis or Chronic Illness
An excellent in-depth article covering a swath of issues that couples face. It has concrete, detailed suggestions for keeping your relationship strong.Marriage and Chronic Illness: A Couple’s Story
One couple’s experience with chronic illness and how it ultimately improved their marriage.
June 19th, 2007 at 9:25 am
This is such an important aspect of life for all of us who are dealing with chronic illnesses. I know that my boyfriend is frustrated with my chronic daily headaches, and while he is so supportive and helpful, it definitely puts a strain on our relationship. I’m certainly going to check out those resources, thank you so much.
Also, if you don’t mind, I’m going to post a link to your blog on my blog page - I recently started blogging about my headaches.
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I’m glad to hear that your boyfriend is supportive. My husband is too, but you’re right that it is still strains our relationship.
Thanks for the link. I’ve added you to my blogroll too. You’re off to a great start. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog.
Take care,
Kerrie
June 20th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Illness is so terribly hard on even the happiest marriage. But I feel incredibly lucky to have a wonderful partner and best friend in my husband. In a weird way, I think my (our) struggles have made us closer than ever.
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I totally agree. I don’t think I could do this without Hart.
Kerrie
April 27th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I am 42 and my wife is 41. She has had Fibromyalgia for the last 14 years. I am not saying this is true for everyone but we have found that when the weather is warmer and more humid, she feels much better. Because of this we moved from Kansas City to Nashville TN. She was fine for 10 years, the condition was still there but better. After that 10 years it became unberable for her again so we moved to Florida. I am hoping it lasts at least 10 more years. She is able to hold a job and is a very good employee. I can identify with Greg Piburn. I too have had to take on more of the relationship than a husband in a relationship with 2 healthy people. The hardest part for me is the times of lack of sex. It is rough. My wife, whom I do love very much said, if it was so bad in those times of no sex, if I did end up taking care of the need outside the marriage, she would not hold it against me, just so long as I never mentioned it to her.
May 18th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I am married to a man with migraines and other off and on issues and it is SO hard. I feel terrible lonely and need him for myself and my childern. I find myself becomeing more angy and I hate myself for it. It has effected who we both are for the worse and it’s hard because we usually awsome together.
June 15th, 2009 at 6:29 am
I suffer with numerous health issues and as I did some searching today, I came upon your blog. Firstly, great job! I look forward to visiting your site often. I am doing a new blog post today about the effects of chronic illness on marriage and really appreciate the links to resources. My illnesses have been a terrible strain on my marriage and I do understand how the divorce rates are so high in such situations. My husband is extremely supportive but I feel so guilty for what he must go through that I tell him quite regularly to leave me. I know that may sound ridiculous but I just want him to share his life with someone that can actually participate in life. Anyhow, thanks again, great site and I will come visit often.
Take care,
Jeannette :>)
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:39 am
I have been chronically ill to the point of disability for just over a year now. My husband of eight years and I separated two days ago. He has issues that I just can’t handle with my low energy. A stronger woman could love him better. His bad moods and issues have really affected our children and since he left two days ago, I’ve found I feel much better, like his energy was making my illness worse. Thanks for touching on this subject. xo